Rimming, Tossing Salad, Eating Ass… Analingus… Butt play with your mouth.
This is a subject that is sure to elicit some STRONG responses, guys.
I’m sure that as I soon as I dropped the term “anal play”, you had some kind of emotional response. You might be like “YUSSS!! Analingus is my favorite! I love getting ALL up in there!” OR you might be like “Ew, yuck, hard pass. Gag.”
No matter how you feel about it, I’m here to tell you EXACTLY how to do oral-anal play, how to make it an explosion of pleasure, and WHY anuses are the final frontier of intimacy and sex.
I am sex and relationship coach Caitlin V and I have a lot of thoughts on analingus. In fact, I have a lot of thoughts on sex in general. I live by two major concepts: try everything once, and don’t knock it ‘till ya try it. So if you’ve never tried analingus before and you’re not sure if you’ll like it, I IMPLORE YOU – give it a chance. It might become your new favorite sex act.
Why Should You Try Anal-Oral Sex?
Buttocks are supposedly dirty, right? Putting your mouth on something that’s dirty… with potential fecal matter… is counter to everything we’ve been taught.
Look, people love analingus. Butt stuff FEELS REALLY GOOD. The butthole itself is full of nerve endings, and those nerve endings can deliver explosive pleasure. In fact, second to the clitoris, the butthole has the most nerve endings in a woman’s body! This is a HUGE pleasure center you’re missing out on if you’re not stimulating it! The other reason to indulge in oral-anal play? This is a GREAT way to prepare the rectum to have something put inside of it. Analingus is a great way to warm up to anal sex, but anal stimulation also very pleasurable in and of itself. So whether you’re using analingus to prepare for anal sex or just enjoying it for itself, these following tips will help you BLOW MINDS from the back door!
Some Things to Keep in Mind Before Knocking on the Back Door
The booty is associated with shame for most people.
This is the first place we’re told not to touch! We’re told it’s dirty! Poop comes out of there! Don’t touch it! Ignore that it exists! Pretend it’s not even a part of your body! It’s too taboo!
Talking about this area could bring up a LOT of shame for people. This is something to keep in mind whether you’re the giver or the receiving partner.
In fact, there’s a lot of discomfort and shame when it comes to sex in general. If you feel like your deep-seated attitudes about your body or sexuality are holding you back, I want you to come talk to me. Click here to apply for a Discovery Call Today. We can help you achieve a better sex life, where you feel confident about your body, and clear on how to take control over your pleasure.
There’s something unique about the anus that makes it so pleasurable.
There’s a physical reason why the anus is such a powerful pleasure center. There are two sphincters that comprise the anus: the internal and external sphincter. One reacts voluntarily to stimuli, and one is involuntary. These are controlled by your two different nervous systems: the autonomic and the somatic. (aka the voluntary and the involuntary nervous systems.)
This is one of the few places on the body where those two nervous systems come together! So pleasuring that area – bringing awareness and JOY to that part of the body – can help soothe these nervous systems. It feels really good BECAUSE both nervous systems are being engaged at the same time at the same place. The result? Intense, immense pleasure that gets eyeballs rollin’ to the back of heads.
Analingus feels incredible on the male prostate.
If you are a man, it means you have a prostate. And having your prostate stimulated – whether with a finger or a toy – can feel really really good. And if you’re going to have your prostate stimulated, you have to go through the anal sphincter.
Pleasuring the anus — specifically the perineum — can help open up those sphincters to make it easier to access and stimulate the prostate. SO often people are like “I want to get a prostate massage” or “I want to have anal sex” and they just go right into it without warming up the anal opening first! They go racing through the back door! DON’T DO THIS!
We all know that the NICE, POLITE way to enter someone’s home is to knock on the door, wait until they answer, maybe take your shoes off…. There’s a process there. You don’t just bust through someone’s door way, race to their kitchen and start chowing down!
Same with ass play, man. This is not a race.
How to Experience the Joys of Oral Anal Play
Talk to your partner about it first!
All you gotta do is ask! Say something like “Would it be cool if I…”
Now, I’ve had a couple of partners who went straight for it, and I’m not upset that they did because that was just part of our understanding as a couple. I’m a pretty exploratory person, if you haven’t gathered, so that was a non-issue for me. But I could see how for other people that would be a really shocking experience. Be nice. Ask first.
Just say “Hey! Next time I go down on you, I’d like to explore a little bit further.” WINK WINK “What can we do to make that a pleasurable experience for you?”
This is the quickest way to a “hell yes”, and helps her feel more in control.
And if it’s a hell no? Drop it. Maybe you can talk to them about it and find out what their main objectives are during foreplay and penetration. Maybe you can help them through some of that shame or fear.
Clean mouth, butt, and genitals!
You can clean your booty by taking a shower and using soap and water on the outside of your anus. Make sure you do a good job and achieve max cleanliness – you might want to clean it multiple times, even. You may want to shave or trim your taint hairs, but good hygiene is the idea, here.
Giving your butt a real good wash goes a long way in reducing feelings of shame around butt smells.
If you know that someone’s face is going to be in someone’s ass, you gotta make some decisions. For example, you might not want to eat explosively spicy Mexican food three hours beforehand. If your stomach is feeling weird, schedule it for sometime in the future.
Schedule it once, but have a backup time, just in case!
Use a barrier
You can use a condom split down the side, a dental dam, non-microwavable saran wrap, you can use an exam glove… all of these things make great barriers! If you have ANY concerns about your butt tasting or smelling like a, well, BUTT, using a barrier can get rid of that concern entirely!
Also, for the person who’s giving, you can go from anus to vulva and back to anus without worrying about cross contamination.
There are even dental dams that are flavored! The experience can go from tasting and smelling like ass to tasting and smelling like wild cherry! It’s a win win, honestly.
If you ARE going to use a barrier, put a tiny bit of lube on the anus before putting the barrier on. This helps to transfer the sensation, heat, and texture of your movements outside the barrier.
Approach the anus!
Say hi! Introduce yourself! Begin by giving little blows, kisses, tiny little licks, introduce the sensations and start slowly. You do NOT want to dive in with full tongue and pressure off the bat! Knock on the door first, man! Don’t break in, that shit is RUDE.
Remember, you’re taking her ass on a journey. You need some rising action before you hit the peak.
Also, don’t forget about the area around the anus! Just because you’re focused on licking the anus doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy pleasuring the thigh, the butt cheeks, the crack! Get creative! Swirl around the area instead of simply focusing on the target.
Ask your partner for feedback as you’re doing this.
A great way to do this is to vary two different sensations. Think of it like an A/B test. “Do you like it when I do this, or THIS better?”
So, you could go up and down on the anus with your tongue and say “That’s option A” and then you can lick left and right and say “Or that’s option B!” Ask them which option they like more.
Or you can vary with firmness, pressure, switch back and forth between tongue and fingers, or even play around with stillness. We get so caught up in the DOING that sometimes we forget that being still can be the sexiest, most arousing thing.
Hell, sometimes staying still is exactly what the body needs to relax and get used to a TONGUE being on your BUTTHOLE.
And if you’re the person receiving… feel encouraged to give feedback. Don’t be shy. You need to give your partner a sense of what’s working for you and what isn’t. This is the only way this is going to work.
And if you’re feeling uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to tell your partner to stop. There is no shame in this! No explanation necessary!
Recap on Eating Ass: Don’t Knock It ‘Till You Try It!
- To recap, eating ass can be an incredibly stimulating experience on its own, or as a lead-in to anal sex.
- Don’t forget to shower beforehand, and have a great conversation to ensure that both partners are into it.
- Use a barrier like a cut condom or dental dam if you’re worried about scents and tastes.
- Start gently and work your way up to more and more sensations! Give your partner two options to play with so they can give you feedback on what’s working and what’s not. If you’re on the receiving end, don’t be afraid to give feedback. And if it’s not for you, that’s fine! Be honest.
Non-Judgmental Sex Coaching For A Better Sex Life
I am SO EXCITED FOR YOU AND YOUR BUTTS! Write in the comments your thoughts on Anal-Oral Play, whether giving or receiving because I want to hear all about your experience!
And remember: I’ve helped thousands of couples achieve better sex lives. Whether you’re struggling with personal insecurities, premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, or just looking to shake things up in the sack, I want you to drop me a line. We can work out the best way to make sure your sex life is as amazing as possible, because you deserve it. Drop me a line by clicking here!