How to Touch a Woman to Turn Her On

Let’s face it: there’s a right way and a wrong way to stimulate a woman to prepare her for intercourse.

Thing is, many men approach foreplay in a way that, well, doesn’t build arousal for their partner.

This is such an important skill and it’s so easy to overlook. When you know how to touch a woman’s sensitive areas, not only do you get more pleasure, but SHE gets more pleasure. You’re more likely to orgasm when you want to, she’s more likely to orgasm, and – what’s most important – is that your confidence will reach the next level.

And when you’re confident, everything else in sex gets better.

So how do you approach sexual touching in a way that will turn her on, increase pleasure for you both, and allow you to have mind-blowing sex? It’s not what you’d expect.

Because if you’re expecting a magic technique, you’re in for a surprise.

The Truth About Foreplay and Sexual Stimulation

Your touch for her is exciting. The way you approach her with your hands is going to make a difference in how she feels and her sexual response. Women have sensitive nerve endings in sensitive areas (like breasts and nipples). We can anticipate your light touch.

That means that we can sense when you’re approaching our erogenous zones in a mechanical, formulaic way that don’t lead to sexual arousal.

If you’re touching your woman and thinking “I think this is how we’re supposed to touch”, or “This is what I’ve read works for women!” …. It can start to feel robotic and lacking in intimacy.

So get out of your head.

Stop thinking about what works, what doesn’t, or “whether you’ve cracked the magic code.” A woman’s body doesn’t work like that!

The Best Way to Touch A Woman (For a better sexual experience and better orgasms)

man kissing a woman's breast

The best way to touch a sexual partner? Touching her in a way that arouses YOU and brings YOU pleasure.

That’s right, boys – you have a responsibility to touch her in a way that drives YOU crazy. Don’t caress and kiss in ways some magazine told you. Do what gets your blood flow pumping.

Because listen – men and women spend lifetimes figuring out exactly how to touch the opposite sex to bring about orgasm or pleasure. You can spend the rest of your life watching tips and tricks and techniques about how to rock her clitoris and vagina or nipples – but bodies change, your partner changes, the thing that brought them to orgasm last week doesn’t necessarily bring them to orgasm this week.

And you change too! You don’t want intercourse to constantly be the same. What if there WAS a magic technique that was “the most pleasurable way to touch a woman’s erogenous zone” and then you just did that for the rest of forever?

Sexual sensation is like food. There’s a million different types and you should sample them all! Figure out what you like, try them in different combinations, and discover what incredible experiences you can have!

With that in mind, here’s the step-by-step on how to touch a woman during both foreplay and penetrative sex:

Touch for your pleasure, not hers.

We get obsessed with how they want to be touched, and then you’re touching her and whispering at her like “… is it working for you?” ….. “What if I do it on your inner thigh?” ….”If I do it like this does it work for you?”

And now you’re putting pressure on her to perform!

This is partly why women fake orgasms! It’s because men are constantly fishing for the climax! “Is this the magic combination to unlock female orgasm? Have I hit the combo to the safe just yet?”

That just puts a lot of undue pressure on her. Trust me – she wants to see you getting sexual pleasure as much as she wants pleasure from you. Touch her in a way that feels good to you. Touch and lick and caress her body in the way that would bring YOU the most pleasure.

That way, at least one of you is going to get pleasure – and if one person is having a good time, chances are, the other person will too!

Understand that when you’re getting pleasure, SHE is getting pleasure.

man going down on a woman

Just the same way that you respond to her arousal… guess what dudes, it’s the same in reverse!

Women like to see that men are having a good time during oral sex and penetration. We like to see that you’re using our body to have a good time! I don’t mean “using” in a bad sense, I just mean using our body as the channel through which your sexual excitement and arousal is moving through. That feels good for women. It feels good for everyone.

And honestly, she should be touching your genitals, pelvis, lower back, any part of your body… for HER anticipation and pleasure. You can tell when she does.

Think about it: you can tell when she’s touching you out of obligation versus touching you because it feels amazing for her.

Check in with her.

Ask her! It’s okay to ask if something feels good or if it doesn’t feel good, especially on her sensitive spots.

But do it from YOUR pleasure and from your desire and YOUR arousal, and not be just based on your clinical assessment of her erogenous zones. You have a responsibility to your own sexual pleasure, and toward your partner’s emotional intimacy!

Intersperse your touch with motions you know she likes.

a man touching his girlfriend's butt during foreplay

Don’t put pressure on her to make sure she’s enjoying your touch, but DO use the touches you know she loves, whether on her thigh or straight-up clitoral stimulation. Use them, use them often, but intersperse them with the touch that lights up your nerve endings with anticipation and sexual pleasure.

For example: if my partner is touching me for MY pleasure, he is probably going to give me some long, tease touches, maybe some light strokes, maybe some long fingertip touches, and that feels really, really good to me. I like a light, moving touch that doesn’t make a straight line but kind of zigs and zags across my lower back. That brings me a lot of pleasure when he does that – it feels awesome.

AND I really like when he grabs me – when he squeezes my hips to pull me closer to him or when he’s putting a little more firmness on me to bring me into a certain direction, or when he sinks his fingertips into my skin, that feels SO good.

And it doesn’t feel good because I love the sensation of fingers being sunk into me. I don’t! That’s not something I would want someone to come up to me and do! That’s not something I would ask him to do. But when he’s in the throws of passion and it FEELS GOOD FOR HIM and he has to have me, that sends me into a state of pleasure that is beyond just what some stroking can do to me all day, every day.

A Better Sex Life Makes for a Better Life.

We all have a responsibility to our own sexual pleasure, and in taking on that responsibility, we can create a better sex life for ourselves and our partners.

If you’re looking to improve your sex life, to last longer in bed, to cure premature ejaculation or overcome erectile dysfunction, check out my masterclass. Come When You Want is my step-by-step guide to lasting longer in bed, experiencing ejaculatory control, and developing unshakable confidence. It delivers many of the same tools I use in one on one coaching but in a video format you can access from your phone or computer. Check it out!

For a more personal approach, don’t hesitate to apply for a discovery call with me today. Together, we can address the issues beneath your sex struggles to give you the best sex of your life!

What Do You Want to Learn More About?

Our Featured Program

lingam massage program

Latest Posts

5 Tips On How To Give Her Yoni Massage

Today, we’re diving into a rarely talked about but seriously game-changing world of pleasure – the art of Yoni massage. This practice has been around for hundreds of years and has long been used by tantric experts to deepen connection, supercharge female libido, and...

Introduce Kink Into Your Sex Life

So you have a kink. First of all, congratulations. Sometimes allowing ourselves to admit we have a sexual curiosity can be difficult. But you’re already doing it! Today I’m going to tell you how to get your partner to do all the kinky stuff your horny little heart...

5 Tips On How To Make Her Horny

Do you know how to make a woman horny? I’m not talking about about just getting your girl wet during sex. And I’m not talking about getting a woman horny one time. I’m talking about the kind of horniness that is a state of being.  Horniness is a lifestyle....

7 Texting Rules To Make Her Want You

When was the last time you called a woman? Chances are, it's been awhile. These days, texting is the number one form of communication when it comes to the early stages of dating which is why in this article we'll explore the 7 text messaging rules you need if you want...

10 Secrets Women Don’t Want Men To Know

Do you wonder if there are things she's not telling you? Or maybe something she’s afraid to say? In this article we'll uncover the 10 secrets that women don't want men to know and how unlocking those secrets will help you achieve a better sex life and lead to...

Browse By Category