How to Last Longer in Bed (“Start Stop Method”)

lasting longer in bed

You’ve been waiting for this moment ALL DAY … and it’s finally here. Of course, that moment I’m talking about is sweet, delicious sex with your partner. But wait… it’s TOO good. You feel yourself about to ejaculate, and… you come too soon.

What if I told you there was a simple method to preventing premature ejaculation in the future?

Today, I will give you a STEP BY STEP guide to the start/stop method without killing the vibe. There’s a bit more to this practice than meets the eye.

As a sex coach, this is not the primary technique I recommend for lasting longer in bed, despite its popularity. Don’t get me wrong — it can be a helpful and effective technique — but I like to think of the start/stop method as your sexual emergency break.

How to Last Longer in Bed ("Start Stop Method")

What is the Start/Stop Method?

The start/stop method is the MOST COMMON technique given to those dealing with Premature Ejaculation. It also happens to be the most dreaded way to overcome early ejaculation. (And we’ll get to that in just a minute.)

Here’s how it works: when you feel like you’re about to burst:

  1. STOP
  2. Pull out
  3. Give yourself a second to cool off, and then get back to it.

Of course, there’s more to it than this, if you want to pull this off with grace.

How to achieve the Start/Stop Method (Otherwise Known as the Pull Out Method)

If you find yourself having to resort to that emergency break, here’s exactly how to do it in a way that avoids all awkwardness and, most importantly, doesn’t take away from your or HER pleasure. 

Step 1: Timing is Key

The first thing guys get wrong when it comes to the start/stop method is when they choose to pull out. 

It’s tempting to take yourself right to the edge. When things start to feel really good, it’s easy to ride that wave as long as possible… but waiting until the last second to pull out is never a good idea. 

It’s essential to pull out before you get too close to ejaculation. You’ll still feel in command of your body and have enough focus to stay in the moment. 

If you wait to pull out and find yourself too close to reaching orgasm, it’s a lot harder to cool off subtly and effectively (not to mention the added stress).

On the other hand, if you pull out on time, you’ll be able to keep your flow a lot better. It’s possible that she won’t even notice that you were close to orgasm. 

Step 2: Go Directly to Pleasuring Her

There’s no need to break the action. 

When you find yourself – in the immortal words of Rihanna – going zero to sixty in three point five… it’s easy to become overwhelmed by your sensations.

But when you’re so focused on your sensations and your efforts to not ejaculate, you’re taking ALL your focus off HER.  

If you can do the first step and pull out before things get too explosive, your next step is to go DIRECTLY from penetration to PLEASURING HER

MULTITASKING, people! Awkwardness happens when you pull out and take time to ONLY focus on cooling down. It takes her out of the moment and stops the beautiful flow of your joined sexual experience. 

But it doesn’t have to be this way — while you’re taking the time to cool down, you have the opportunity to put some extra attention on HER. 

Here are some ideas:

  • Go down on her
  • Finger her (maybe see if you can get her to squirt!)
  • Kiss her all over.

It’s best if you start these things as soon as you pull out. PRONTO.

If you pull out and continue to pleasure her with vaginal stimulation, chances are she won’t even notice that you were just about to come.

Maybe even take the opportunity to bring her to orgasm before entering her again. She will not complain!

Man pleasuring a woman by performing oral sex so he can last longer in bed.

Step 3: The Cool Down

The cool-down… This is another crucial part of the stop/start method that guys often struggle to master.

While cooling down, the most common mistake guys make is not giving themselves enough time to reset. This results in diving right back into sex only to find you’re still too close to orgasm.

The key to an effective cool-down period is not to pressure yourself to get back into penetration. Take the time you need to REWIND, rather than just taking a pause. I promise that as long as your attention is on pleasuring her… she won’t mind. 

So what does it mean to rewind? 

While you’re pleasuring your partner, focus on steadying your breathing. This means deep, steady breaths in… and long, steady breaths out. 

If you feel like you were pushing the limit and were feeling a little too close to ejaculation, you can pinch the head of your penis. This can reduce blood flow and decrease sensitivity in the area. 

Another excellent tool for cooling down is stretching your pelvic floor. Click here to learn more about Kegels for Men: The Trick to Overcome Premature Ejaculation.

Step 4: Communicate as you see appropriate

Suddenly stopping the action can be confusing for her. Understandably. Maybe she thinks she did something wrong or she’s not sexy enough.

If you think this is the case, just reassure her: she’s smokin’ hot, you’re all about it, and she’s SO sexy, in fact, that you can’t contain yourself.

For example, if she was riding you and it felt so good you were about to orgasm, so you pushed her off, maybe say to her, “Babe, this feels so good, I worry I’m going to orgasm. I need you to move more slowly, or I need you to get in a different position.”

It doesn’t have to be a big deal. You’re just sharing with her how to make sex better.

The Start/Stop Method is Just the Tip of the Iceberg When It Comes to Overcoming Premature Ejaculation

If you want to know exactly how to last longer in bed naturally — without any numbing creams, pills, or any annoying techniques that stop the flow of sex — check out my masterclass that will show you exactly how to last longer in bed in as little as three weeks.

If you want to feel confident in the sack, bring her full satisfaction every time, and make sure you have a lasting, pleasure-filled relationship, be sure to check it out.

Check out Caitlin V’s new Relationship tool to deepen intimacy and connection.