How Does She Want You to Thrust During Sex? (Depth, Speed & Rhythm)

You don’t have to slay dragons with your cock to be the lover of her dreams.

In a word: stop thrusting like a 1970’s porno.

Yes, you see them hammering away in porn like a construction site — but that’s not what the ladies like, okay? 

Trust me on this one — the way you thrust sets the tone for:

  • How much your woman enjoys having sex with you, and
  • How quickly you bust off.

That’s why today, we’re talking about how to thrust: which speed, depth, and rhythm to use to make sure you gain ejaculatory control and last way longer in bed…

And so you can give her intense pleasure.

Technique #1  – Grind and Rock Instead of Just Going “In and Out”…

‘In and Out’ is the traditional move — the caveman move — if you will… 

Ask yourself — do you really want to make love like a caveman? 

If you want to heighten these pleasure sensors, throw the ‘Back and Forth’ technique in there.

“What the heck is the difference?” you ask.

“Back and forth” is grinding. Rocking. Because you want to rock her. Get it?

Technique #2  – Shallow vs Deep Thrusting

couple having sex

Most men think they have to push DEEP into her in order to give her more pleasure.

In fact, the shallower the better, sometimes.

Here’s why:

The majority of the nerve endings within a vagina are found within the first couple inches of the opening.

What does this mean? Well.. if you want to bring her to orgasm, you need to post up shop and hang out there for a little bit. 

Oh, and on the extra plus side, this feels amazing for you (the man of the hour) without you feeling the urge to erupt too soon. 

Once she has had a few orgasms you’re in the clear for some deep thrusting.

Technique #3  – Slow vs. Fast Thrusting 

couple having sex in bed

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when I mention fast thrusting? A jackhammer? Yeah, no thanks.

If you’d go strictly off porn, you would think women love being hammered into like a drill for the entirety of the sex act.

Not only is this boring and unimaginative, but it’s sometimes painful and uncomfortable.

Women like a slow burn. Take it slow. breathe it in. Enjoy it.

Sure, when your partner is close to reaching her orgasm, the fast (not to be confused with deep) thrusting is usually required to get her making her ‘Ooooh’ face. But when it comes to the overall pace, start slow. 

You can get more fast and intense when she’s near her tipping point. 

Technique #4  – Be Relaxed. Unclench Those Butt Cheeks.

couple having sex in bed

Be aware of your body during sex. Are you clenching your butt cheeks?


Reason being: you don’t need to clench in order to stay inserted or erect. 

Reason #2: when you relax during thrusting, you’ll be able to last longer and less likely to climax too soon. 

If you want to feel confident in the sack, bring her full satisfaction every time and feel relaxed and in control, check out my Master Class HERE. It will give you the need to learn total ejaculatory control.

Technique #5  – Take some breaks.

couple laying in bed together

Sex should not be all about the end goal. While orgasms are great, it’s often beneficial to break the script.

Sometimes we all need a time-out…. and sex is no exception. Sometimes a change in tempo is a great thing. 

If you’re going long and strong, chances are, you’ll need a break. 

Take it. 

“But Caitlin,” you say, “I work so hard to maintain my erection! I don’t want to lose it!” 

I promise you, your erection will be back. Give your hard-on a breather, and once it’s ready, it’ll come back. 

Technique #6  – Hard vs Gentle Thrusting

If there’s one thing you take away from this blog article, make sure it’s this:

There’s no reason to thrust hard and fast in the beginning of sex…. 

Build up to intensity. Start slow, and she’ll beg you for more.

Why? Women need 20-30 minutes of stimulation before reaching orgasm. Gentle thrusting feels WAY better for women (and it prevents you from pressure cookin’ and busting off too soon.) This is essential for my dudes with premature ejaculation. 

Bad Advice You Should Never Follow 

There are some male sex industry “experts” that will tell you to pound away HARD at your woman. 

On behalf of all women …. Please don’t. 

If you want your partner to experience mind-bending pleasure, to BEG for more, and to orgasm over and over… you need to master the gentle thrust. 

[she comes too banner] 

Thrusting Techniques are Spectrum Based – Try Them Out

Some techniques may have you ejaculate hard and quick, others will make you last much longer and turn your woman into a puddle of pleasure.

If you are unsure where your edge is, you need to enroll in my ‘Come when you want’ Masterclass. It is 98% effective at helping you take control over your ejaculation in 90 days or less.

And let’s face it… lasting longer is so much easier if you have the right techniques that ALSO make your partner feel damn good. 

Que your female partner moaning, screaming, calling your name… 

A lovely sound. 

What Do You Want to Learn More About?

Our Featured Program

lingam massage program

Latest Posts

5 Tips On How To Give Her Yoni Massage

Today, we’re diving into a rarely talked about but seriously game-changing world of pleasure – the art of Yoni massage. This practice has been around for hundreds of years and has long been used by tantric experts to deepen connection, supercharge female libido, and...

Introduce Kink Into Your Sex Life

So you have a kink. First of all, congratulations. Sometimes allowing ourselves to admit we have a sexual curiosity can be difficult. But you’re already doing it! Today I’m going to tell you how to get your partner to do all the kinky stuff your horny little heart...

5 Tips On How To Make Her Horny

Do you know how to make a woman horny? I’m not talking about about just getting your girl wet during sex. And I’m not talking about getting a woman horny one time. I’m talking about the kind of horniness that is a state of being.  Horniness is a lifestyle....

7 Texting Rules To Make Her Want You

When was the last time you called a woman? Chances are, it's been awhile. These days, texting is the number one form of communication when it comes to the early stages of dating which is why in this article we'll explore the 7 text messaging rules you need if you want...

10 Secrets Women Don’t Want Men To Know

Do you wonder if there are things she's not telling you? Or maybe something she’s afraid to say? In this article we'll uncover the 10 secrets that women don't want men to know and how unlocking those secrets will help you achieve a better sex life and lead to...

Browse By Category