You wouldn’t eat a live chicken, would you? Of course not! You have to cook it first! So, why do so many men dive COLD into penetration without warming up his partner first?
As a professional sex coach, one of the most common complaints I hear from women is, “My husband/boyfriend has no idea what foreplay is. He just wants to dive right into penetration!”
It’s not your fault — after all — nobody would have taught you about foreplay.
After reading this article, you’ll know what the heck foreplay is, how to be amazing at it, and my eight hottest tips to master foreplay so you can become an amazing lover.
What do we mean by “foreplay”, and what is it good For?
Foreplay is a bridge between not penetrating and penetrating. It’s good for absolutely everything.
It’s the best way to get your partner mentally and physically ready for penis-in-vagina sex.
Here’s why foreplay is essential:
- Foreplay increases her odds of orgasming
- Foreplay improves vaginal lubrication and decreases the chances of her experiencing pain during sex.
- Foreplay gives men more time to achieve an erection and last longer in bed because it gives men more time to relax, center, and ground themselves.
All these combined makes sex way more enjoyable for her, leads to more pleasure, and way more intense orgasms. What’s not to love?
8 Ways to be Amazing at Foreplay
One of the best ways to become an amazing lover is to master foreplay. Here’s how.
Before you start with the finger and tongue lashing, breathe, take a minute to land. Look into each other’s eyes, take some deep breaths as foreplay.
This is a great way to feel present and mindful with your partner and is a route to great intimacy. These few moments of stillness will also prevent you from rushing through sex.
In the same vein, a great way to start sex is by stretching together, doing some yoga, going on a walk, or getting hot and sweaty in a workout session. This way, you both feel “in your body”, and sex becomes a “given”.
2. Stimulate the Skin Outside and Around the Vulva
Stimulates the legs of the clit, the roots of the clit and the pubic mound itself. Rub, caress, kiss and touch all places that actually are not the vulva itself.
So, you’re pleasuring all the areas AROUND the target… not the target itself. Kapeeshe?
3. Use the Kivin Method
This means to come at the clit from the side, instead of directly on top of the clit.
A lot of guys just go at it straight on, but she will notice the difference, and so will you. Going from the side allows you to stimulate the clitoral legs and leaves your hands free to stimulate her labia, her perineum, and even penetrate her with your fingers.
4. Use a Sex Toy or Vibrator
Bring in an anal plug or anal beads, change it up. Before penetrating her, warm her up with a vibrator and see to her pleasure FIRST before diving in with your penis.
And don’t stop until she BEGS you to finally penetrate her.
5. Use Blindfolds
It’s one of the steamiest, must-have sex toys ever. I kid you not, I literally think the blindfold is the number one sex toy after the vibrator. Blindfolds are great because they build anticipation. She doesn’t know what you’re going to do next. It’s super hot.
No blindfold in the house? Whip out that handkerchief, cowboy. Grab a scarf. Think outside the box.
6. Read Erotica Together
Reading erotica is so hot because you’re just using literature to fill in at the imagination of your mind. See how many pages you can go before jumping each other’s bones.
7. Try your Hand (pun intended) At Some Mutual Masturbation
Watching each other pleasure yourselves is super hot. She’s going to look super sexy playing with herself and you will find it so hot to see her get aroused. And not only that, but it’s applying foreplay to yourself. It’s a win-win. And let’s be real, most women know how to turn themselves on through manual stimulation even if they’re a bit shy to show you at first. So this is a great way to get her super wet and ready to take you inside of her.
Watching her pleasure herself can be great education for you — learn what she likes and HOW she likes it.
8. Change Positions
Instead of just laying down, maybe have her sit on the edge of the bed or better yet have her sit on your face. Change it up if you’re used to beginning sex in one position, begin sex in a new position next time. Women love variety, and it will inspire you to do other creative things too!
Bonus Tip! Switch Up Locations in the House
If you’re always used to getting it on in the bedroom, it might be really nice to get it on, on the couch or in the guest room or even in the kitchen. Women’s brains need variety. And so switching it up like this can be really exciting and fun for her.
Make Her Come — Every Single Time.
In my Masterclass She Comes Too, I devote an ENTIRE module just to foreplay. This is designed to demystify foreplay and give you the exact, step by step formula to giving her multiple orgasms. There is an art and science to foreplay. It’s not rocket science, but it requires special care and attention.
Once you master foreplay, your woman WILL enjoy sex more, will be more likely to orgasm, and will enjoy having you around and inside her even more.