10 Things to Try in the Bedroom, According to a Sex Expert

That couple, you know, the one, the one that’s been together forever and STILL FLIRTS with each other. She sits on his lap during backyard BBQs, they touch each other all the time, they’re ALWAYS kissing… 

You can just SENSE how sexy and vibrant they feel around each other and that they have tons of fun. 

How do these couples achieve this? 

Today I’m going to share with you the STEAMIST things you can start trying in the bedroom TONIGHT — whether you’ve been with your partner for 30 minutes or 30 years. 

These 10 ideas will help you break out of your routine, stoke the flame between you and your special lady, and become a much better lover …. Who knows exactly how to give his woman the time of her life.

Man and woman in bed about to spice things up in the bedroom.

Why we need to spice it up in the bedroom

If you’re really enjoying your current sexual repertoire, and it seems to be working for you, why change it up?

Well, according to studies, couples who participate in new and arousing activities together reported improved relationship quality. Not only that, but it also increased passion for one another. 

These couples in this study had been in relationships for anywhere from two months to 15 years. And the most surprising part? An activity only needs to take about seven minutes for couples to experience a big, delicious boost in relationship satisfaction. 

So … shaking things up is straight up AMAZING for your relationship.

Think about it, the times we feel closest with our partner are those times when we’re trying something new with them, maybe taking a super fun risk, doing something we’ve never done before. 

And as a professional sex researcher turned sex coach, I know that a woman’s brain needs variety and novelty in order to stay sexually interested in a long-term partner.

Without bringing new things into the bedroom, your woman’s gonna get really bored.

she’s gonna lose interest. Worst case scenario she might start looking somewhere else to get her rocks off.

So if you’re afraid of this happening in your relationship, and you’re not 100% CLEAR on exactly what a woman’s brain and body truly needs to experience the most pleasure in bed…

…including more orgasms, you absolutely need to check out my course SHE COMES TOO.

10 HOTTEST things you absolutely need to try in the bedroom tonight

1. Blindfold Eachother.

Blindfolds (at least in MY opinion) is the world’s number one sex toy. The second you take away sight, every single touch becomes ELECTRIC on your skin. You don’t quite know what to expect in the next moment. It puts your partner on edge in the BEST way

Man on top of woman who is blindfolded in the bed.

2. Food play!

Incorporating food into foreplay is SUCH a great way to incorporate ALL of your senses that I actually filmed a separate video ALL about Sex and Food.

Bring in strawberries, whipped cream, chocolate-covered cherries… to make your next playtime luxurious and sensuous. 

3. Butt Stuff!

A lot of people are kind of nervous before trying butt stuff because they think it’s going to hurt over everything.

Or, they think it’s going to be gross and dirty, but neither of these things are ANYTHING to worry about.

In FACT, butt stuff feels amazing because your anus happens to be the place where both of your nervous systems come together.

The butt play triggers the parasympathetic nervous system to “click on” which is an INCREDIBLY relaxing and pleasurable experience. And, there are various ways to experiment with butt stuff.

Maybe try putting lube on your finger and GENTLY massaging her anus. Or, when you go down on her, lick around her anus. Maybe try varying sizes of butt plugs, start small and build-up her tolerance. 

4. Shower sex!

Shower sex is super hot. Just the way her skin is wet and glistening is so sexy. Next time you hop into the shower, ask her to join you, push each other up against the wall and have your WAY with her.

Man and woman having shower sex.

5. Light bondage 

Chances are, she might already be into this. According to the Smithsonian, almost 40% of Americans dig BDSM (which means bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, submission, and masochism).

So don’t be afraid to bring out some light bondage tools into the bedroom. Just remember to choose a safe word together with your partner.

6. Mutual masturbation!

Imagine you knew EXACTLY how your partner needs to be touched in order to reach pique pleasure and orgasm. 

What does she like best? What does she respond to? Have these questions answered right away through mutual masturbation. That way, you can BOTH see, straight up, how the other person likes to be touched.

7. Sex toys. 

Think of sex toys as your magic wand to stave off boredom in the bedroom and give her WAY more orgasms.

Try pegging, or incorporate a dildo that she can take while she sucks you off. Hold a vibrator up to her clit during penetrative sex. With sex toys, the possibilities are endless! 

Woman introducing sex toy to man in the bedroom.

8. Circular breathing 

So the circular breathing technique is when one person inhales while the other exhales — long, deep breaths and long exhales — and vice versa. Holding a rhythm and syncing your heartbeats. 

This stems from the deep and wonderful world of tantric sex,which I strongly encourage you to look into and educate yourself about!

9. Bring in a third 

While this might not be right for EVERY relationship, if you suspect it might be super hot for you two, and you think your partner might be up for it, there’s no reason why you can’t at least have a conversation about it!

If you really want to bring in a third (or even more people) there are multiple things you can try out, like;

  1. Devil’s threesome (my personal favorite) 
  2. Bring in another woman 
  3. Watching porn together (porn being the third)

But first, you absolutely need to know the rules of the road if we’re bringing in a third party into the bedroom. So I linked to my other video so you can successfully bring in a third and ensure that both you and your partner have an amazing time.

10. Master the tease

Instead of giving her everything she wants right now… make her beg for it. Leverage stillness (allowing tension and anticipation to build).

Kiss and rub all over her body and take your sweet time to get to the vulva.

Spend a lot of time — and I mean like 20 minutes — working around the target while not actually hitting it, this will drive her nuts!

Man and woman. having sex on the kitchen floor.


And you know what, I have TWO BONUSES for you guys today because as a professional sex coach, there are SO MANY saucy ideas to try with your partner to blow her mind, and it was so hard for me to choose just 10. 

Bonus 1. Dirty talk 

DIRTY TALK goes hand in hand with exploring fantasies together. This way you guys can live out fantasies and explore a totally new world together!

Sometimes there’s nothing sexier than dirty talk..

“Do you want me to come?” 

“Do you want my cock in your pussy?”

Bonus 2. Change up your location

I encourage you to have sex in multiple locations – not only in your bed! Try the couch, the outdoor furniture, the hot tub, the living room. Put your leg up on the kitchen counter and go down on her.

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