10 Secrets Women Don’t Want Men To Know

Woman looking up while laying in bed with laptop

Do you wonder if there are things she’s not telling you? Or maybe something she’s afraid to say?

In this article we’ll uncover the 10 secrets that women don’t want men to know and how unlocking those secrets will help you achieve a better sex life and lead to more intercourse overall.

If you’ve taken my course, She Comes Too, then you already know the secrets to giving a woman ultimate, mind-blowing pleasure in the bedroom but today we’re gonna talk about all sorts of secrets that women ourselves keep.

She comes too masterclass

Number One: Our Locker Talk Is Dirtier Than Yours

Women are communicators, in fact there some major health benefits that come from this.

This means that pretty much every time we get laid, our closest friends are gonna hear all about it. In great and gory detail.

So that bartender you went home with on Saturday night? Her friends know every little thing about your hot and heavy encounter. 

When women talk about sex? We dive into it. The good, the great, the bad, and the ugly. 

Number Two: We Get Bored In Bed Faster Than Men

If we’re sleeping with the same partner, the same way for a while chances are we’re starting to get bored

Even if the sex is fantastic, if the same thing is happening over and over again, night after night? We start to feel like we’re in Groundhog Day. 

So maybe you did a thing with your tongue while going down on her one time and she went crazy for it. Your instinct might be the just do that every time because you know she likes it!

But the thing is, if it gets repetitive it’s gonna start to bore her. Plus, our bodies are changing all the time which means we need you to change up your style and technique each time.

So be sure to try new things and spice it up on a regular basis. 

Number Three: We’re Afraid Of Hurting Your Ego

One of the main reasons women keep these secrets from men is that we’re afraid of hurting your ego.

Especially when it comes to sex, we know that nothing kills the mood faster than when a man gets insecure. So this actually stops us from having conversations that we might want to.

As a man, if you really want to know what’s going on, it’s important to open the door to that kind of communication. Make it clear that you’re comfortable with yourself and that your ego won’t be hurt if she tells you what she wants, or what isn’t working for her. 

By taking the lead with starting the conversation, you can signal to her that you aren’t fragile and that you’re coming from a place of wanting to learn and grow. And that is sexy.

Number Four: She Wants To Fully Let Go

When it comes to sex, often times women don’t really wanna be in the driver’s seat. 

The best sex for a woman is when she can fully surrender to the moment and totally get out of her head.

In order to really feel like we can let go, you have to be both safe and generous. 

We’re looking for sexual partners who put the effort in to be in tune with our bodies and needs. Someone who isn’t afraid to ask until he knows what’s what so we can fully let go and enjoy the ride. 

Man with his head in between a woman's legs

Number Five: It’s Hard For Many Of Us To Receive Oral Sex

It’s no secret that oral sex feels amazing. But it’s really hard for a lot of women to receive it. 

We put pressure on ourselves to orgasm in an appropriate amount of time. We wonder if you’re okay down there or if we’re taking too long. 

This turns into a vicious cycle where we’re trying to orgasm already, and then focusing so hard on trying that we can’t actually orgasm. 

This is why it is so helpful to hear affirmations that you’re enjoying it too. Saying things like “Take your time”, “I’m in no rush,” or “I could do this forever.”

These simple phrases make us feel comfortable to relax, and chances are? It’ll probably make us orgasm faster. 

Number Six: Big Penises Intimidate Us

Think of a huge dick as a ferris wheel. It’s fun to ride when the carnival’s in town, but we’re not trying to get on one every day. 

Now if you have a massive eggplant dick? This definitely doesn’t mean you have anything to worry about. 

I’m just saying that it’s not as big of a priority as you may have been led to believe. At the end of the day, it really is about how you use it. 

Great sex has very little to do with the size of your penis, so whatever you’re packing is perfect. 

Number Seven: She Wants To Experiment But Is Afraid To Tell You

Now this one is big especially when it comes to sex toys. Bringing a vibrator into the bedroom is basically guaranteed to put our orgasms into overdrive. 

So many women would love to feel a vibrator stimulate her clitoris while you’re penetrating her, but we’re afraid to ask for it and we’re secretly hoping you’ll bring it up. 

We don’t want to make you feel like you aren’t enough. Because we know that you are enough. 

But we also know that a battery operated device specifically designed for our pleasure is definitely going to take things up a notch. 

So please, ask us if we want to bring a toy into the bedroom. 

Number Eight: We Get In Our Heads Too

We’re human. We have insecurities and hangups in the bedroom. We’re worried about pleasing you or if you’re having a good time.

If you notice that the woman you’re having sex with seems miles away, it probably isn’t about you or anything you’re doing. The best course of action is making space for her experience and bringing her back to the present.

Sometimes being a great partner means stopping the sex and untangling what’s going on. And this type of care always leads to greater sex in the future. 

Number Nine: You’re Probably Not Paying Enough Attention To Her Clitoris

The clitoris has about 8,000 nerve endings. That’s about twice as many nerve endings as the entire penis.

And yet, it so often doesn’t get the love and attention it deserves. 

Most women need a lot of clitoral stimulation for a vaginal orgasm.

Paying attention to the clit is so important when engaging in foreplay. The little hooded bump you see is only the tip of the iceberg. It’s connected to erectile tissue that extends into the body and all around the vaginal canal.

If you’re looking to warm us up, there’s no better place to start. And many men forget about the clit once they’ve started having sex.

The truth is, many women need it to get off. Whether it’s a reach around while penetrating us from behind or playing your thumb on our clit when we’re on top, make sure to keep the clit on your mind during all stages of sexual activity. 

Number Ten: You’re Probably Penetrating Too Soon

It’s no secret that women take some time to warm up. It’s not as simple for us as getting an erection and being ready to go, even if the woman you are with says otherwise.

It takes a lot of stimulation to get our minds and bodies ready for penetrative sex.

Women actually have just as much erectile tissue as men and our vaginas should be wet and engorged before you enter us. 

We need to be touched and played with in order to be ready for sex. Otherwise it can be painful when you enter us. 

The best way to make sure this isn’t happening is to really tease her. Touch her until she’s begging you to enter her. Doesn’t that sound like a win win all around? 

Check out Caitlin V’s new Relationship tool to deepen intimacy and connection.